Moving When You're Single
Packing up and moving is never easy, especially if you're making the trek alone.
Here are some things to prepare for, and look forward to, if you find yourself single and moving.
I’m the gal who grew up in small town but always felt a city gal at heart and I think something inside of me always knew I would end up in a much bigger city. To date, I have made three moves to big cities all by myself and each one was to a much bigger city. My most recent move was to New York City and, without leaving the United States, that’s pretty much as big as you can get. A lot of people say that takes courage -- I say it just takes the desire to get what you want.
Let me start by saying that I openly admit that moving is hard for anyone. And moving can be especially hard when you are talking about moving an entire family somewhere. So, my attempt is not to compare moving when you’re single versus when you’re not, but rather just speak from my personal experience as a singleton.
I’ll be the first to admit there are a lot of positives to moving when you’re single. You can move anywhere you want and you’re the only one that has to deal with your decision. Even if it’s the biggest mistake in the life, you’re the only one who has to deal with it. If the move doesn’t work out it’s pretty easy to repair the situation. Sure, no one likes moving back and having to admit they made a huge mistake. And it’s even worse if you have to move in with a relative or friend. But, still, it’s just your life that you’re affecting.
If you’re single and make a move, you really only have to worry about yourself. That comes in handy when you’re trying to meet people and find places you want to frequent. You can go to a bar at midnight, join a dating site, or just wander around aimlessly. And once you find a place you like, you can stick with it. You’re also able to move around until you find a place you want to call home. No one else has to like any of this. No one else needs to find a job or has to leave friends and family.
But, let’s be honest, as much as those things are positive, they can all be negatives too. Moving by yourself means you’re the only one that has to worry about you. Translation? You have to take care of everything. There’s no one to help you find a place. Need to figure out how to move all your stuff? Again, that’s all up to you. Unpacking and cleaning? Yep, that’s you too. Any moving expenses are all up to you and that can mean cleaning out your entire bank account.
Moving anywhere, especially a big city, can feel extremely lonely. I consider myself lucky in this case because I make friends really easy. But, no matter what your personality is like, getting to know new people can be extremely hard. And sometimes it makes you feel even lonelier and miss where you used to live even more.
You also have to figure everything out on your own. When you move to a new place something as little as finding a good grocery store can be the most difficult task. And, it’s hard when you have to ask total strangers to help you. This can also make you feel extremely lonely and homesick.
Then, there’s the experience dating in a whole new city which can be a challenge. When I had my first date in Chicago I had this moment where I was like wait, this guy isn’t picking me up from my place. Of course he wasn’t, he didn’t have a car and he lived in a whole other part of the city.
So why should you bother? Because the experience isn’t like any other. Really, I wouldn’t change any of my moves for anything. The best advice I can give to anyone who is single and wants to move alone is to be brave and keep putting one foot in front of the other. You might be lonely at times and it will be scary but give it some time. Trust me, you’ll make your way through all the difficulties, just divide and conquer.
What about you? Have you ever moved to big city on your own? Would you do it again?
About the Author:
Jess Downey is a freelance writer, blogger and online columnist who lives in Brooklyn, NY.
She's a former ChicagoNow.com blogger who has also written articles for Examiner.com, Bad Online Dates, The eFlirt expert and Get2Know.Me.