Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent

Whether you're single by choice or by circumstance, being content alone can be a challenge.   Here's how a once co-dependent woman found peace in independence after unexpectedly becoming a single mom.

"Singleness shakes and shoves us into taking the leap from wanting someone to being someone."

The quote is by Judy Ford, a woman whose words played a large part in changing the way I looked at myself as a single woman.

There’s not a doubt in my mind that I would not be as fabulous as I am today had fate not stepped in and placed her book in front of me at my local library years ago as I scoured the self-help section, depressed, scared and feeling desperately alone six months after my separation.

As I wandered the shelves that day, I wasn’t quite sure what I was looking for.

A distraction.

Some inspiration.

Something to fill the gaping void my ex had left in my heart.

Maybe all of the above.

At that time I wasn’t Mely.

Back then I was a less confident and more broken version of she; the type of co-dependent woman who was terrified to be alone because she never had been.

A woman who had yet to realize there was a beautiful, witty and sexy creature dying to claw its way out of her.

The truth is, I didn’t know who I was without a man to use as a mirror. I’d spent the last 15 years of my life dating because I didn’t know how to be content by myself, judging my worth by the male company that I kept.

Unfortunately for me I kept some sh*tty company.

Fairytales, movies and 3/4 of society had led me to believe I was half of a whole, leading me on a seemingly endless journey searching for another person to cure my loneliness.

I never felt satisfied, despite several joys that came into my life, because I didn’t think I could be until I found the missing piece that would turn my half into a whole.

In those days I thought being a single woman and a single mother was a death sentence; that I’d spend the rest of my days chained to a life filled with struggle, mediocrity and loneliness.

“Single is not a condition to be cured – it’s just as natural as being part of a couple.”

Then I read Judy Ford’s book, “Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent” and every fear and negative thought I ever had about being single washed away when her words inspired me to become the woman I’d always wanted to be, yet never could living my life attached to another person.

“Singleness shakes and shoves us into taking the leap from wanting someone to being someone.”

The moment I read those words something shifted inside me. My singleness became a gift with wings that taught me how to fly after a lifetime of timidly keeping my feet on the ground.

Here’s the thing Cinderella, Snow White and Jerry Maguire…

We’re not all half of a whole.

Some of us are lucky enough to be complete all by ourselves.

About the Author:

Funny. Sexy. Inspiring. These are the three words that best describe Melysa Schmitt.   Between raising her son as a single mom, running Kiss Our Sass Media LLC, designing t-shirts for her Kiss Our Sass Apparel line, and wearing her cape as the  ”Super” Marketing Manager for Single Edition Media, Melysa shares her brazenly honest humor here on her lifestyle blog Sex, Lies and Bacon.     Melysa has been listed in CircleofMoms.com Top 25 Blogs on Single Parenting for two years in a row, writes for Late Night Parents, and has been a repeat guest on NYC's WPIX 11 Morning News.

This article was originally published on Sex, Lies and Bacon.