The Third (or Fifth or Seventh) Wheel

As a single you're bound to feel like the "third wheel" on more than one occasion.   Here are a few tips on how to approach dining out amongst couples with grace.

As a single girl, I have been there many times: you are invited to dinner with friends and it turns into being a remake of Bridget Jones’s Diary: “lots of smug married couples”.

While I would be quick to shoot a devilish glance at the gal pal that invited you to the seemingly couples-only dinner, I’ve learned to navigate this situation with some ease.

Here is where I love the concept of tapas restaurants. In brief, tapas are small bites and are found at many Italian or Spanish-style restaurants. The food offers variety, the ability to try new foods and reinforces the concept of sharing (something we sometimes forget about in our consummately single lives). I have also found that since you are passing plates around and sampling, the focus of the conversation tends to lean more towards a foodie chat than having a “So, why aren’t you dating someone?” slant. For me, this helps me [the singleton] feel more at ease and less on display.

If tapas are not an option due to your geographic location, pizza is always a close second. Personally, when I’m the third, fifth or heaven help-seventh- wheel in a “group night out,” I try to be the one to pick the restaurant.

Sometimes, the unavoidable happens and the questions come despite your best intentions to dodge the bullets. While I am constantly asked by friends (who are married) and coworkers (who are, too, married) about my dating life and why I am still single, I have learned to be steadfast and confident in myself and my decision to be single (even if I am actively looking to date or for a relationship).

This way, I reap the personal satisfaction of watching their bullets ricochet.

About the Author:

Laura “Lolly” Lewandowski is a Healthcare Consultant with experience in patient safety and quality programs, healthcare government affairs and strategic business positioning. Laura is known for her analytic and research skills and is putting these skills to work not only as a consultant, but also as a graduate student.   In her free time, Laura sits on the board of three non-for profits and runs a Chicago-based fashion/lifestyle blog. Laura holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in English and is pursuing a Masters in Public Policy. She is also a certified personal trainer and works with women to help them maintain their weight-loss achievements.